all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
