Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i wish my penis had a tongue
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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