New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
