his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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