Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
