You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
