Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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