My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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