I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
