this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
