the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
