so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
