eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
high people should be assigned attendants
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
