That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
