im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize