so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
