Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize