sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
