College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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