Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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