Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
