What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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