just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize