He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
i now understand why vodka
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
