Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
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