OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize
