You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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