11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
