Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
