He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
