My cat gives me a boner
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
