Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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