I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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