On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
