yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
