Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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