just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
