it was like eating out sand paper
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
