At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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