sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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