She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
