i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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