he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
