ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
