I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
