i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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