I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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