He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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