so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
