I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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