Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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