You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize