I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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