Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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