Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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