We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize