is your mom at the bar?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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