i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
