STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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