what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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